FUCK

I don't believe this or my eyes. Did I just open my itunes and find it empty? Did I really? Did I just type in an artist and receive zero results? Did i honestly think I was in the wrong playlist or something and then actually try to return to the main music library which I was already in? Was I honestly wrong for doing that? Did any of this even happen? Is this real?



Since I'm in a state of denial we'll use only hypotheticals okay

Is this punishment for me wearing silver glittery nail polish and purple minty lip gloss? I know I should be ashamed but it all came free in the mail today because I'm such a loyal costumer to a certain cosmetics store and they loves my moneys so much that they wanna let me know what I'm missing out on in the hopes of getting me to go back to their shop and give them more of my moneys. Yeh I have always known what I was missing out on- the porn star look isn't really my style actually, not a fan of the wet look. But hey, it was free and minty so I gave it all a test run. BUT had I known I would lose all of my music for one lame day at home looking like a tacky hooker I would have returned to sender the shit out of that package!

and if I made a sound argument then and you understand why I had to try out the products, is it that I'm being punished for re-applying the purple lip gloss 20 minutes ago? Because FUCK! God Almighty I regret every last light reflecting spec of it!

Now I reached out to the smartest girl I know and not even she could help me.

This isn't true but if what I saw was right (fucking motherfucking cunts) then I just thank fuck that my dad and I share the same music taste and that because the library is pretty big he was a good old man and stored it all on an external hard drive! but still... FUCK YOU ITUNES I'M SORRY I DON'T LISTEN TO POISON IF THAT COULD MAYBE LESSEN YOUR REACTION TO MY SILVER NAIL POLISH AND PURPLE LIP GLOSS OTHERWISE I'VE BEEN A REALLY SICK PERSON TO YOU AND YOU SHOULD HONOUR ME WITH THE RESPECT I DESERVE AND NOT FAIL ME, RATHER THAN ME FAILING YOU. ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH.

and so my music isn't deleted but if it were I realise I can get it back but it's very inconvenient and the initial sight of an empty itunes is something no one deserves to see

... unless it's brand new and then cool.

I Think He's Planning Her a Candle Lit Dinner

We may forgive but we never forget? How about forgetting but never forgiving? It sort of doesn't make sense because if you've forgotten where does the not being able to forgive come from. But I guess you can choose not to forgive and then end up forgetting it? In my eyes that's the same as forgiving. Not really, but you see, it puts you in the same place.

Putting and placing. Sometimes you mean things and that's what gets meant. You write something and know it will be interpreted one way when you meant it another but then there's one person who understood completely. No, No, obviously you suck but hey, it's not even meant for you to read into it. This is another you. The all knowing, all seeing, billion dollar eye. The eye who'll read this first and again making meaning of my words; turn you to I. An eye for I.

Sometimes selfish kinds of loves sprout from selfish people made selfish by a selfish lover's selfishness. Again it's about putting and placing. Sometimes (all the time) you don't realise. You're always not realizing so many things which becomes everything. Paloma Picasso's hands; hey! hey! she's got power.

So if it's forgotten and not forgiven it becomes an underlying thing. Underlying your lives. I hope it surfaces and I hope it's accepted. I hope it's like now, when anything can be said without saying anything and still make feasible, relevant conversations because of the other underlying things. you laid them too.

Some people need to learn a lesson,
the lesson gets learnt.

Sometimes you mean things and
that's what gets meant.

Gretel Says...

After the politics and law exam circa 2009

Person X: yeh i managed to write my entire essay on the voting laws
Gretel: oh are they to do with all those people trying to get into Australia?
Person X: ... no, we're talking about voting laws. you mean boating laws, which by the way there's no such thing.

Thought She Was Asian

Hot Hot Handle Handle

Blogbear being a child of Down Under and also with an ancestry of centuries traveling through the desert can handle the heat. I can handle the melanomas, the nights where you wake up wet from your own sweat and I can manage to escape the summer without looking like a lobster.

I slept till midday, convenient as I could eat breakfast without having to endure Sunrise or some other channel 7/9 morning bullshit where the biggest problem in the world is whether women should be wearing high heels to work. But the reason I woke up was because my bedroom had become a sauna but I came to accept it because the air con wasn't on/never works and my bedroom is upstairs (hot air seems to rise). Although later my brother pointed out that some dumb fuck LEFT THE HEATER ON. Oh wow it's really hot outside, let's make it equally as hot inside. That's what Australia's all about right? Equality!

No one will admit to it but you can't hide from me for very long since there's only seven people living under this roof. Well it wasn't me this only narrows it down to six suspects.

Suspect 1#: Brother- Ahhh yes, the discoverer of the Heater Fuck. I will not rule him out as I go by the rule of, "Whoever smelt it, dealt it".

Suspect 2#: Father- When I told him about the incident he proceeded to act "surprised". When it comes to character evidence, years of lying to me about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy ain't doing you any favours Mr. Blogbear. Do not rule him out as he is an unreliable source.

Suspect 3#: Cousin- This dim creature in my eyes is the second best suited Heater Fuck. He constantly comes up with stupid ideas such as when my father had accidently vacuumed something he thought it could come out by "try vacuuming water into it"... you dumb fuck how would water inside a vacuum help get the object out?! So I would not put it past him to think that putting on the heater will somehow make it cooler inside.

Suspect 4#: Sister- Left early this morning for work and would not have had time to turn on the heater slash you weren't at home. You have an alibi for now. Currently ruled out.

Suspect 5 #: Mother- Also left work early. Plus also strongly agrees with the Heater Fuck being a messy fucker. Seems to be genuinely annoyed. Also currently ruled out.

Suspect 6#: Grandmother- Yes you are the most likely candidate as you frequently turn on the heater when it is 40 degrees. History does not help you here, since there have been many occasions where I spot you under a blanket infront of the heater during summer.

Over and out, Detective Blogbear.

Ode to someone we used to know

ROSE

Everybody knows

Rose picks her nose

Rubs it in the dirt

And eats it for dessert

When she has a shower

She picks her bum for an hour

When she goes to bed

She gives herself head

What's The Difference?

Attention! Attention! A new round of drinks and it's our shout!

You see there's a difference between like and love. Because I like my sketchers but I love my prada backpack

-But I love my sketchers?

That's because you don't have a prada backpack

-O-oo-h

Now we neither own sketchers or prada backpacks :( which makes us the unwashed miscreants of this world :( :(
We don't like and we don't love? No, no I don't think so. We definitely like (so says facebook) and we definitely love. Another thing which I have to say "I don't think so" about is you having sketchers and a prada backpack. You're no better than us you wannabes.

I cut the red tape on the new section of our blog, What's The Difference, because clearly no one seems to know.

Our Gisele Bundchen model of a model here to open our campaign is this:

You see there's a difference between looking slutty and sexy. Because that slut's insecure but that sexy minx is confident.

-But I think I'm confident?

That's because you're a dumb bitch

-O-oo-h

There is something wrong with me

Hunched over, constantly hunched over.

Apologetic, yeah I feel that way now,

I can't raise my eyebrows because you said something out of character.

This is nothing like that.

Someone says something so god damn... hurtful and suddenly it's as if someone is pulling a noose across your neck?

Beads of black crawling down your face, a tongue too big for your mouth, shaky shaky hands.

Who's the crazy lady now?

You said to me you could never apologize even when you felt sick to your stomach. Even when you knew you were wrong.

Take that righteous tool of yours and slice.

Snip, snip, snip me out of this.

I'll take you to Jacksonville

Funny story about this girl I know

This girl fell in love with this guy in the space of three weeks, way back when in '07. Except they worked together so it was doomed from the start. He broke up with her, not that they went out, on her 18th birthday. She cried and her face was all red. Then they fucked. They fucked again I think.

Yeah the reason for his breaking of the heart was because he was in love with this other girl who was named after a flower (bullshit name). So she continued to wallow for the next seven months even though they'd only been together for three weeks. I swear to God I thought she was the most pathetic thing in the world. This guy she was in love with... I don't understand why this happened maybe it was the acid wash jeans, or the perfect milky skin, or maybe his love for rage against the machine. OR maybe because she couldn't/didn't have him therefore he was all the more attractive.

To conclude this funny story:

The Flower Girl never ended up liking this guy back.

He didn't ever know that this girl loved him. He won't ever know.

He's now unhappily in a relationship with this girl who sells shoes.

This girl is now happily in a relationship to this guy who's good at physics.

Two years have passed and things couldn't be more different.

You Don't Know This Man

I don't know this man. He's in me and he's hurting me. I don't know whether it's cock or knife. No it's knife, who am i kidding. my stomach's not there. my stomach is the palm. the wall is the fingers and he's knocking them. I'll get a baby from all of this. I'll have a baby? No pleasure all pain?
three hits
three hits
1


2


3


thr
e


e mo


re



we've lost scope of the real world. and it's entirely our audience's fault. Shame on you, shame on you! i can feel a heart beat or is it the knife. knife pounding. pounding me. am i being milked here? is this udderly wrong?

Daul Kim

Now that you're gone, what's my brother to do without you?

AIME

Why You Being a Dickhead For, Stop Being a Dickhead

I've got feathers in my hair. I've got a hole in my duvet. I've got your shit in my ear. I've got nothing left. I've got no desire whatsoever to talk to you. I don't want to hear you ask me again and again and again and again again again. I've got no stand on this. I've got to hear you out?
I've got tickets and shows. I've got car rides and strolls. I've got things one two three four five six seven and I don't need you to ask me one two three four five six... seven hundred.
I've got mess yeah. I've got space but it's messy right? I've got a face and it's messy too. I've got clothes and I've got them messy. I've got to know you messy fucker and you don't know you're a messy fucker.
I've got notes. I've got sight of a feather in my hair. I've got to deal with you. I've got to deal with you remembering if you don't forget. I've got one year left. I've got disasters. I've got failure. I've got nothing. I've got jewelery on me. I've got jewelery in me. I've got water boiling. I've got summer coming. You've got summer coming. I've got you for summer. I've got everyone for summer. I've got everyone for summer. I've got people sticking around. I've got knowledge of those who should stick together. I know people who learn. People who lean. People who loiter. People who can't be alone. People I can't let be alone. I've not even go to be there.

Holichka

mamma said keep awaay from dat woomn she aint no gooooood

Complainte

Tomorrow afternoon calls for a three hour exam in which I must vomit up everything I recall from Germany 1918-1945. I'm not in the mood for you, Hitler. I'm not in the mood for your Foreign Policies and your need for lebensraum and racial purity. Nein! Nein! Nein! My mind's gonna be elsewhere tomorrow as it has been tonight.

Today as I walked through the wintery wonderfuck of Perth my dress flew up exposing everything bellow my belly. Sad thing was my hands were full and I couldn't pull down my dress in time to prevent from embarrassment. If anyone was near the state library today and spotted an arse accompanied with a burn on it's back, THAT WAS ME!

The past few nights I've been having dinner by myself. It's actually kinda nice. Empty house with a dog, and maybe its a man's best friend but my dog's got a pimple on it's fat tail so it just doesn't cut it. Routine: come home, study, eat dinner in front of television, study. Exams; you're killing me softly...

P.S. Apparently Jews weren't in our exam, even though we spent a term learning about it, because it was feared we would get 'emotional' during our exam. Have the Jews not been persecuted enough? Or is this a ploy to teach us the true meaning of ostracism?

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

...i pray the lord my soul to keep and if i should die before i wake, i pray the lord my soul to take. Cause i'm so fucking exhilarated!!!

Last night I went to see Liam Fynn, Ben Harper and the Relentless Seven and Pearl Jam. And that night i was ready to die. I could die peacefully. nah man, I could die ecstatic; not peacefully but at peace.

My cousin and I were dancing and it felt so good. I don't know what you know or think of love but I reckon that was it. Love for the moment. I'm sorry that i fucking live for Pearl Jam, I'm sorry if that lets you down or whatever. I didn't really realise no one cared too much for them until I was getting texts during the concert from my friends who obviously had no idea it was on. Besides the 12 year old kid who got a shout out from Eddie I was the youngest person I saw.

Man I wish I was still there. During Better Man i had tears nested under my eyes which just rested there, I didn't cry but held my tears. I danced and jumped for my love. The audience sang the beginning of the song. It was so beautiful. Fuck. I want to go back badly. Better Man followed by Alive was so fucking incredible. I pity everyone who missed out. A metre from the front but amidst the centre of the universe. My most favourite thing is feeling it within you. I remember grabbing my chest and feeling the songs through my bones. My heart was still there and it was strong, really really strong and the fucking music was in my bones, inside of me. And if I clenched my shirt all I felt was my own grip but then when I touched my body again... ahh. god. euphoric. It's so strong.

During the concert while dancing i remember thinking if someone shot me in the back I'd have died the best way I could image. In the air when the bullet would hit me.
There was a bit when my cousin and i were the only two people dancing. Eddie was singing the same line over and over into the crowd who were repeating it back. I was yelling so fucking loud cause you can't tell when everything around you is even louder and dancing so fucking high. My cousin had her head down while she moved and there was a clear path from me to Eddie. For about 20 seconds I swear he was staring right at me. we were just singing back at each other. I have no idea what i looked like but he looked so fucking raw. When he shook his head sweat flew off his long hair and his face was pure passion. I reckon I coulda looked quite similar. Throwing my head about as I danced I'm sure I let my fair share of sweat loose and convinced Eddie and I were singing right at eachother I can't imagine myself ever quite embodying so much passion. Now I want you to count to 20 and realise what a beautifully long time 20 seconds is, the length of time which i spent staring right into Eddie Vedder's eyes. (L)

I was just happy. After i saw Neil Young (who by the way Pearl Jam refer to as Uncle Neil, lub dub) at the Big Day Out I couldn't stop smiling. I had every reason in the entire would to be happy. When Pearl Jam left the stage I was the same. Boy did I sleep well that night. So content, I'm surprised my body didn't register the total inner peace and exuberation as the trigger to die. Either way I'm happy. Dead yehhhh, alive yehhhh. I don't think this feeling's gonna part with me anytime soon. It's not on a par with the all time high which BlogBear and I experience earlier in this year when we were, I swear to god, the happiest people alive but this feeling is forever going to be in my bones.

You're all poor suckers for missing out but god all mighty, watch this



I guess you're feeling a little more alive now hey

My face right now = :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

P.S I love Ben Harper
PP.S I scored a guitar pick

Gretel Says...

Sitting outside our school after a dissabled/retarded man passed by us circa 2009

Person X: What's he got?
Gretel: huh? What's he got in his bag?

P.S i'm eating a lollypop, long time no suck

Sodomy is Between God and Me

In Chapel today at school i read Battle as Bottle. For a brief moment i was in heaven as i praised God's wise words, "Do not fear the bottle". Needless to say we laughed through the rest of the hymn.

My next class was French and we managed to persuade our teacher to put on a movie rather than revise in our last lesson before exams. We watched The Count of Monte Cristo. At one point i read the subtitles of "he's just a poor count" and "he's just a poor cunt".
Last time we watched a film in french, Hunting and Gathering, we were jipped a sex scene. Not because we weren't aloud to watch it but because the fucking director thought it a better effect to cut to the next scene. Well his intentions can go fuck themselves because we made sure nothing was left to the imagination. Occupying the front two desk, my friend Voldermort and I sat rocking back on our chairs with our legs spread out on the desks, failing at our attempts to be the teacher's pets because our indisputable rebel roots. As the scene changed, the two of us looked at oneanother with that vile look of mischief present on our faces and a childish grin. Voldermort slapped her under her thighs while i loosened my mouth, grabbed on the my cheeks and began flapping them. I wish you'd all been there, such a beautiful moment.

101 Things

Dirtbag and Blogbear love:

1. Big, fat, glorious magazines with seeminly more adverts than content.



2. Constantly talking shit with friends.



3. Accents. Hearing them, guessing them, imitating them. South African to American. All good.



4. The fact that Sexy Music Man is back. The man of my 14 year old's dream. The man who literally made girls "head over heels". Correction: he is no longer Sexy Music Man, it's more like Sexless Music Man. Oh how age shows naivety.



5. Dumb bitches.



6. Nudity. "Here, we’ve only got a few options in how to react to the naked body: be aroused, be amused, or be repulsed. Boo to that." Hey Nuuuuude, don't make it bare take a short skirt and make it shorterer...



7. The idea of having a gun pointed to our faces and asked for our last words and offering a nonchalant shrug "dun matta".



8. People who can multiply decimals in their head because it's suprisingly sexy.



9. Knowing that Bindi Irwin is subject to a ventriloquist up her bot bot.



10. Taking the blows in my face and my body.



11. The Assassination of Our Futures by the Coward Procrastination.



12. Sarcastic jokes about and during inappropiate situations.



13. When people don't acknowledge us and avoid eye contact.



14. Filling our sorrows with the words we borrowed.



15. Morgan Freeman narrating my life in one ear whilst Adrien Brody whispers sweet nothings in another.



16. Kisses on the nose and ear.



17. Quotes said at the correct moment which allow you to win life with one smart arse comment at a time.



18. Public displays of affection.



19. Calling for whores to fill our empty, empty.. cavaties. Slut! I need somebody. Slut! Not just anybody.



20. When fat people kiss with their eyes open on rides at the royal show.



21. "Never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously, you never get hurt, you never get hurt, you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."



22. Public displays of affection in public toilets



23. World of Warcraft. We don't play but we love its following and the followers' obsession with it and loyalty for it and dependency on it.



24. When people stare at you and then you stare back until they break eye contact. You win.



25. Taking stalker photos. Example: walking down Beaufort St and seeing someone that Dirtbag is obsessed with, then pretending you are on your phone outside IGA to get a photo of him.



26. Alexander Wang, Alexander Wang's clothes, the Alexander Wang Girl.



27. People who shit in pools.



28. Listening to mulitple songs at a time and them clashing.



29. Only being able to establish things by their relevance to things off of Sims. such as dogs which look like sims dogs, hairstyles which look like sims hairstyles, houses like sims houses, babies like sims babies...



30. Not being able to identify a baby's age and simply refering to them as their size. "umm i dunno, it was like arm length kinda of baby"
    
    
31. Big dreams which end up panning out the same as The Great Gatsby, being unphased by "definatley being suspended at the least" and no one antending the only bothered person's funeral



32. Mice pooing on your hand then just flicking it off
    
    
33. Noticing more quirky outfits than normal the weekend Facehunter happens to be in Perth
    
    
34. Being praised by your teacher for getting 38%
    
    
35. Only getting 5 views a day now that we're an invite only blog



36. Cell Block Tango from Chicago. I'd easily kill a man to be in that song. "He ran into my knife, he ran into my knife ten times"



37. Spending the end of english lit. watching a man cut open a camel, cut off a bit to eat then spitting it out with repulsiveness, then dragging it's innards across the desert, then cutting the fur off as a "blanket", then watching him lie inside the camel.
    
    


38. "When a guy cums on your face"



39. The fact that my mum thought we'd brought the wrong dog home proceeded to call out "Dog X! Dog X!" Dog X looks at my weirdo mum, my mum says, "Ah yes, it is Dog X, he looked at me."
    
    
40. Deceided to commit to moving far, far away from perth to a place where we share the same bed, work three jobs, forgot about our morals and own a moldy bath. All whilst having the time of our life.
    

No Good Deed DOES Go Unpunished

Since our past couple of posts have been about animals and juvies I thought I'd keep in the spirit of things and post about our favourite foetus.

DOG ACT
Definition: The act of a dog.

JUVIE HUNTER
Definition: A hunter of juvies.

When you put these two together, what do you get? You get a stickie situation.

Exhibit A: Here ye, here ye! We have one crazy bitch foetus who is usually spotted smiling at people with her crazy eyes or suddenly after years of never being seen she can be spotted in the "6050". You may be fooled at first to think that she is innocent but nein, nein nein! Yes she is second hand goods but we hear that she also likes to give hand! Would you like the subtle touch of a juvie on your penis and your weinis? Then call up now, and if you use a condom, the sex is for free!!! She enjoys hooking up in the park, she's into anything as long as you provide her with substantial social status. There's really no rush, you don't have to call now, she'll be around the block a few times.
After two thousand and shine, we'll bring a whole new meaning to the term "Juvie Hunting". We are seeking their heads, not their tang. Actually maybe we'll pass around the tang, then we'll get some head, and then we'll get their head on a stick. Yeah, it'll be some unholy war for sure.

P.S. I DO NOT INTEND FOR OUR BLOG TO BECOME A GOSSIP GIRL/BITCH BLOG. This is dedicated to a sexy friend of mine. This deed had to be done... but no good deed goes unpunished right?

Is This The Stinky Nandoes Juvie Hunter?

Thankgod for Halloween to mark the peak of the hunting season. God presents you a platter of the finest pre-pubescent bodies scantily clad in their illegally sexy outfits. They're literally (litter alley) knocking on your door asking for your treats... and we know the kind of tricks they turn ;)

it's a shame that not everyone chooses to dress up and being a 'Party Pooper' doesn't count.
As much as i love to see the little embryos neglected in the true fashion of abortion, when you've got them all on their Pro-Life campaigns just begging for a titty fuck when the footy's the only thing on TV and they're too tight to fuck why not take advantage.
In the wise words of Joey 'Eat Me' Donner, "If you don’t get any, I don’t get any. Let’s go get some."
SO i urge you to consider that local bundle of joy who's at your beck and call. Think of yourself as the you in that quote and the I as the juvies, and say to yourself every morning when you wake up, so you can take full advantage of the new day (and the naturally bare pussy), "If i don't get any, they don't get any. Let's go get some"

YOU ARE THEIR UMBILICAL CHORD. YOU'RE THEIR ONLY SOURCE OF LIFE. IF YOU CUT THE CHORD THEY'LL HAVE NOTHING TO THRIVE ON.
they'd have made the transition from juvie to woman and all you'll have left is the placenta.
Oh placenta, so nutritious. you hold the secrets of life. you're matured and wise however what could you really want from that. i mean if you dared eat it you would benefit greatly but who really wants to put themselves alongside Tom Cruise? Therefore you must continue the kiddy crusade.

Vs.

i know which one i'd prefer to eat ;)

Anyways, back to the misfortune of some people not dressing up.
I know one person in particular who threw in the white bib in his hunt for juvies. Well, maybe he didn't, but that's the impression i got. like i said, his white bib, and whilst this boy does claim to be THE juvie hunter and he has had his fair share of indecent affection and easy advantage, i stress that his bib has not properly been soiled. A clean bib, what the fuck. we need some apple puree on there! and quick smart!

and so i present to you the wasted opportunity which was Halloween.

i have long suspected that this Sims boy had an idol, someone who he looks up to; models himself on. I thought that the person who i dare thought Sims may look up to was a very very very high goal, some might say reaching his status would be unattainable for a well-educated yet misdirected teenager living a cliched life in a close-minded city. so i decided to follow a new lead (all the while cherishing my true thoughts).
i asked Sims, "would you let *** ****** fuck you up the arse" and the answer was no :( which marked the end of that contestants run and i moved back to trailing the true winner.
I present to you, the ultimate Halloween costume for our dear friend Sims of 93'perfuck (although lately you may know it as 93'perSUCK). If he had only realised the true genius behind this he could have pulled an epic amount of tang and rather than given in on the Fanny Quest, as opposed to NicTaMere's Vaginal Quest (fanny's the term little girls use for those of you who weren't ever one yourself), he could have proved himself THE MOTHER FUCKING JUVIE HUNTER!!!!!!!
without further a due i present to you, Wooderson!

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. "

now, it;s a shame that Halloween has passed and the morning after all we're left with is All Saints Day? piss offff. i had a fun Halloween and it's all your own fault if you yourself didn't. This post has been about seizing opportunities and with Halloween so arise many opportunities, such as sick arse costumes of evil mermaid and self harming mental patient (it's not called over the top it's called fucking best dressed)! Two -thousand and shine offered us soo much more though.
number one it's a Saturday night
and number two we have a stellar cast of juvies this year in terms of getting down and dirty. Although there seems to be a common denominator of all being too tight, a burden which calls bullshit to one of the fine womanizers of '93's infamous claim that "all vagina's are the same" well unfortunately these pint size girl' vagina's share the same fate of pint-sizeness and therefore they don't even meet the standards of such a degrading claim- how embarasing. nonetheless the juvies ran plentiful and to ensure they were all open to a little openness douth i did spot some street drinking going on. THANK GOD FOR TEETHING!

I'd like to end with two of my favourite parts of my night.
1) Ruby the boy dog caught in a girl dog's body.
2) BlogBear: so are you a normal cop or a skanky cop?
Person X: "a skanky cop!!!!

By the way, as well as running a backyard dental clinic i now am running a business; i serve as the ultimate wing man to all who claim to be a juvie hunter. I promise you my services are first class and i offer text message spottings of any juvie you sign up for or you can request the deluxe package in which any juvie to ever crawl the planet is caught by my radar.

xox. Dirtbag aka your favourite placenta ;)