Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Tempest take home and fuck essay

I'm "trying" really hard to write this.

Even missed recess that's how committed I am.

I am so tired but I must stay awake.

Damn respecting your teachers who make you feel ashamed for your lack of work and push you to finish assignments out of embarrassment!

You know... I could fuck myself over and drink a tall glass of warm milk. That's like my roofie drug.

One glass of milk and I'm outta here.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Tempest take home essay

A Familiar Situation

Walking home from school sick, sleeping half the day then beginning an already late lit essay. Ah it's good to be home

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I hate it when...

you make a noise that sounds like a fart, common when sitting on leather couches or wearing sneakers, and then the person you're with thinks you just farted and you try to remake the same noise but you can't and they say "sure, sure".

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I like

a) it when you stare at someone long enough to realise that they are ugly.
b) being ugly.
c) being told I am ugly.
d) how much fun it is to be ugly.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

They're creepy and they're kooky

The Ronson Family. This shoot is so goooooood.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Less is not always more

Lately I've been so tired but also very well and happy. I stay up until the early morning and wake up at noon.

Whenever I want to write I'm too tired to write it because I know I won't finish writing to see it through to the end if my eyes are drooping and all my joints, carpal to metacarpal, are sore. I hate that.

My bed is where I spend most of my time now. I literally barely touch the ground with my bare feet lately. I'm always above, high on a level, that is built above of another level, on a mattress, on a bed stand.

I packed my eye bags last night,
Zero hour, 6 am,
and I'm gonna be high as a kite by then,
I miss the earth so much... I miss my life.
It's lonely here in bed,
on such a timeless dream.
and I think it's gonna be a long, long time...

"Yes. No Maybe. I feel sometimes I should elaborate more. But often there's nothing more to say."

Friday, July 16, 2010

Phi Fi Foe Fom

I heard that Phi has closed down forever and there was a huge sale.

Boooooo! Phi shoes are or should I say were sick.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

History tells the story

My teacher once told me that the person who loves less in a relationship is the one in power.

Agree or disagree?

Can't make up my mind.

Bloody hell


I'm going to get a blood test to see if I have hepatitis.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Men writing about men who are masculine

Men's magazines are the best. I swear by it as of yesterday.

Looked through my first Playboy yesterday too. Didn't get to look through the extra naughty ones though cos they're covered in plastic, so unfair, I NEED to know what a vagina looks like, I'm deprived.

Whom I love: Topher Grace for saying the funniest thing I've read all week and Dev Patel for looking so cute in suits.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Shit hit the fan

Man oh man yesterday was the funniest fucking day.

The school I go to has had a sewage leak, someone who wrote 'hi' with their own shit and someone who wrote 'die' with their own tampon, oh and my personal favourite someone who missed the toilet bowl then attempted to get the shit back into the toilet bowl with the toilet cleaning brush. To add to the disgustingly funny list of shit, hehe, was yesterday's excretion extravanganza!

To cut the chase, this shit was big (understatement). The best thing is the reactions from people coming out of that cubicle, this seriously took over the whole school, we walked past people of all grades ALL talking about this big shit. My class had to all take five and attempt to remain silent, and also we were attempting to name the shit. My favourite reactions have been:

  • Person who attempted to flush it only to walk out of the cubicle with a highly distressed face as they said: "It won't flush..."
  • Person who said "That person would have had to have anal sex..."
  • When debating over who it would have been one person narrowed it down to "go check the sign out of school slips, whoever wrote "getting my arse stitched up".
  • All the people who run out and lean against the wall laughing/crying.
  • All the people who end up on the floor laughing.

This is seriously the Two Girls One Cup of my school now. It's the reactions that end up being the best. Even the teachers knew about it. Maaaaaaaaaaaaan it is so immature yet so hilarious that it still makes me laugh a day later.

Running jokes about the poo:
  • A-poo-calypse Now
  • Six-inch Sub of Poo
  • When the School Met Poo
  • How I Met your Poo
  • Poo-Poo Shut us Down
  • How To Lose A Guy in One Poo
  • A Poo To Remember