Shit that doesn't matter that I miss

I miss:

- lots of bins being everywhere

- starbucks not being everywhere

- pillows that don't feel like they have rice in them (Dirtbag sleeps on pillows filled with spaghetti, weird huh?)

- foxtel

- a bit of sunshine

Kyoto, kyoto, kyoto, go! go!

How does one survive a family trip unscathed? The current status of my family is:

Father = mediator

Mother = angry at everyone

Sister = angry at me and brother (however has presented a united front with a hated enemy against myself)

Brother = angry at everyone on some level

Moi = angry at everyone minus father.

Today I cycled to the Imperial Palace, dodged geishas whilst it started to snow, froze to death... all in day in Kyoto.

The perfect situation to which a family can fight about is, of course, directions. Everyone is stubborn and thinks their pathway is the right one, which obviously results in a "I told you so" moment, which feels so very good for the person who says it. This is pretty embarrassing but my sister accidentally hit my eye this afternoon and I started crying in the middle on the street... the pain sort of subsided which left a hot rage inside of me. So my sister starts walking away from me for being stroppy with her post-punch, I call out something along the line of "OI FUCK HEAD, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY". Oh how great it is to fight in english amongst Japanese people... Then from then it's a bit of swearing and then both of us stomping back to the hotel.

Shit things about fighting on a family holiday:

- Sharing a room with the person you are fighting with.

- Fighting in Japan as there is a lack of space.

- Fighting in a room where all the doors are un-slammable.

- Cold weather which makes it harder to go have a 'run away from home' attempt.

An after thought

Oh and I tried on these shoes... they made me feel like I was standing on stilts and instantly increased my chance of snapping my foot in half.

2011 wasn't like that when I met her

Considering Dirtbag hasn't zoned in on the first blog of the year it makes sense that I get to bring in such a futuristic year with a post whilst in Japan. Futuristic year you ask? Well, well, well. (I'd say quell but that'd be pretty 2008 of me). Well 2010 seemed like the most futuristic sounding year, don't know if I've mentioned that already or not, I remember my sister told me she wrote a short story when she was a kid about the future which she had set in the year 2010... with flying cars and what not. Did it ever bother you last year that no transport was used via hover craft? Instead we had the trustworthy Transperth to bring us to and fro. Why don't we ever wear sick clothes like the Jetsons? Our clothes should look like foil, instead we have American Apparently you're cool... nah, nah, I can't explain about that here and now, maybe later. I'm no fan of people telling others how to dress but... here's the exception, WE SHOULD ALL BE WEARING SILVER CLOTHING. Gotta live up to the standard of our childhood dreams.

So here's my plan, let 2011 be the most futuristic year yet... it will be the wet dream of all futuristic dreams; like walls of vaginas.. in the future.

Oh and about Japan, it's the future city! (as my friend referred to it as last night). I don't know how I'm going to settle for a non-warm toilet seat (nah I defiantly can explain this one, I don't actually like them, it's good because it's pretty cold here but my first thought was that someone had been sitting on the toilet for a fucking long time before me, warming other seats is ok but toilet seats... nah I'm ok), how will I settle for a toilet that doesn't wash my bum for me? One that doesn't play soothing ocean noises? That flushes when I stand up and have a tap on top of it that opens once I stand up? One that has a 'flushing' noise for those that are embarrassed of the sound of their eliminations.. POO. So yeah, that was a solid paragraph on toilets which justifies why Japan lives in the future.. today. (Awesome advertising tag line huh?)

See you in the future suckerz! (in the future it becomes okay to replace the traditional 's' with a 'z' to indicate to others how dardz you are).