Hot Hot Handle Handle

Blogbear being a child of Down Under and also with an ancestry of centuries traveling through the desert can handle the heat. I can handle the melanomas, the nights where you wake up wet from your own sweat and I can manage to escape the summer without looking like a lobster.

I slept till midday, convenient as I could eat breakfast without having to endure Sunrise or some other channel 7/9 morning bullshit where the biggest problem in the world is whether women should be wearing high heels to work. But the reason I woke up was because my bedroom had become a sauna but I came to accept it because the air con wasn't on/never works and my bedroom is upstairs (hot air seems to rise). Although later my brother pointed out that some dumb fuck LEFT THE HEATER ON. Oh wow it's really hot outside, let's make it equally as hot inside. That's what Australia's all about right? Equality!

No one will admit to it but you can't hide from me for very long since there's only seven people living under this roof. Well it wasn't me this only narrows it down to six suspects.

Suspect 1#: Brother- Ahhh yes, the discoverer of the Heater Fuck. I will not rule him out as I go by the rule of, "Whoever smelt it, dealt it".

Suspect 2#: Father- When I told him about the incident he proceeded to act "surprised". When it comes to character evidence, years of lying to me about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy ain't doing you any favours Mr. Blogbear. Do not rule him out as he is an unreliable source.

Suspect 3#: Cousin- This dim creature in my eyes is the second best suited Heater Fuck. He constantly comes up with stupid ideas such as when my father had accidently vacuumed something he thought it could come out by "try vacuuming water into it"... you dumb fuck how would water inside a vacuum help get the object out?! So I would not put it past him to think that putting on the heater will somehow make it cooler inside.

Suspect 4#: Sister- Left early this morning for work and would not have had time to turn on the heater slash you weren't at home. You have an alibi for now. Currently ruled out.

Suspect 5 #: Mother- Also left work early. Plus also strongly agrees with the Heater Fuck being a messy fucker. Seems to be genuinely annoyed. Also currently ruled out.

Suspect 6#: Grandmother- Yes you are the most likely candidate as you frequently turn on the heater when it is 40 degrees. History does not help you here, since there have been many occasions where I spot you under a blanket infront of the heater during summer.

Over and out, Detective Blogbear.