lebensraum

I never ever saw this coming at all. Here I am simply functioning This is me at a meeting, not doing any meeting. This is my work. My day job. Ordering and filing and trying to win at life; trying to move up the ladder, raise myself, reach the unreachable, posses the unattainable dream.
I'm not being growled at, my boss is not abusing me but god I feel as though I am. I'm trying to work and crying. I can't help it. This office noise has been extracted from a much more beautiful, sadder, so very very sad scene. He's moving up, up the stairs. Yes. No. They both enter. Heartbreak is breaking up reality.
But I'm at my desk simply playing the game. Simply functioning and being apart of life. This is self inflicted. I pressed play and then I chose to repeat and when I chose to play I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew I'd go for the repeat. My speakers succeeding at raping me. It's okay though, everything is okay.
And then I see someone from a different time. A time which feels as though it should be referred to as a historical period, in a formal way. Taught to the masses and embraced as a different way on this consistent world. In seeing this now distanced person I take the scene and unintentionally manipulate it to be of a different origin. Had the scene been playing in my own head during the time of ours; after prime, absence and loss of innocence. Fuck me it feels like it. It fucking well feels like it and I thought it'd all have fucked off by now. No, clearly not. The original sin, cause I've been lured to fall.