Baby I was born this way

While I may be a month behind in lectures for all my units, have missed my last three tutorials, have free wifi fuelling my ebay addiction, not be doing any of my 10 online assessments each week (it's so easy to 'forget' about them) and actually attempting seducing one of my lab instructors so I can pass; my biggest problem at uni is that I have no one to have lunch with :(

This is because I have no friends at uni

Firstly, friends from school or that I knew before this year that are at the same uni as me (ok I do have some) aren't my closest friends but ALL of them are each-other's bestie. So at around one o'clock when I'm awkwardly walking around

the lawn, pretending to be on my phone when really I'm trying to scope out some 'friends', they're all sitting in their lectures (which they have TOGETHER) having already had their lunch rendevue at 12, which they'd planned because (a) they text and (b) they know each-other's timetables.

Secondly, I can't sit with my uni friends because I HAVEN'T MADE ANY! (actually I have but more on that later*)

Luckily, I think I've figured out why i'm such a loner! yay!

reason 1: I watch Glee in public. All I do at uni is watch Glee clips and someone can always see your laptop screen at uni so guys to my right, pahhleeeese stop looking down my jumper whenever I bend over... AWKWARD!

Until the pure genius of glee is fully realised by the world population I'm afraid watching Glee is worse, socially, then actually being in the glee club. oh well, I guess having a couch to myself in the science cafe is better then a cold slushy to my face.

Reason 2: I eat fruit in public. well, I call it eating, you can might

call it something else... How I eat fruit is probably going to get its own post in the not too distant future so I will just give you the run down; I tend to strip it of most of its flesh and leave the core because the core is the sweetest part and tastes/smells delicious and then I eat that part too.

these are two pictures of me eating my kiwi fruit from 5 minutes ago when i epiphanised my reasons for being a loner.

I hope you cant see too well what's going on in the pictures because I gotta save it for my exclusive/explicit fruit eating post but just imagine the large cafe of people on the other side of my laptop!

man I can't even remember the other reasons but my point is, university is ridiculing me for me being me! I WAS BORN THIS WAY! ahhh gaga4gaga <3... seriously, right now I have the country road version of Born This Way on repeat.

hmmm 'I was born this way' brings me to an uncomfortable point and probably an asterisk...

*It has come to my attention, mainly because of uni and all the miscreants who call it 'home', that I am a creep magnet. You see I have made 'friends' (ughh wash my mouth out) but we aren't friends because I hate them and they're freaks.

"I'm beautiful in my own way"... a way that's attractive to FREAKS ARRGH (If i want to make it cunty, baby that's okay because I was born to be brave...)

Also, I have actually made one friend (doesn't mean all my pain you've just read through isn't real!) but he once told me off for what I can only assume was me being myself, I'm still a little confused. I was telling him how for ages when I rode to and from uni I would feel super embarrassed because I couldn't put my gears any higher and my legs would be going so fast and I must have looked like the biggest idiot to all the cars driving past until i remembered there were gears on the left side of the handlebar too! Duh! then he laughed (at me) and said "wow that is really embarrassing, you probably shouldn't tell people". He probably didn't say those exact words because that sounds douche-y and he's not douche-y but I can' remember his words eactly. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaanyways, even a real friend is making fun of me for being me :(

I just read this then, maybe 3 weeks after I first wrote this and I'm not sure how to end it, so I'll end it here... but not before I add that now I'm even further behind in my lectures, haven't been to 3 more of my tutorials for one unit and in doing so managed to miss all notices on a presentation we were meant to present worth 10% and so missed that assessment entirely, skipped one more of another unit's tutorials then walked out of my most recent one because my tutor was being nasty and have ceased entirely to submit anything whatsoever internet related. Unit 1's labs finished last week and I never got to 'consummate' anything despite many a shoulder rubs, breathing down my neck and entire steps of my experiments completed for me. I guess this is probably a good thing, but i can't help seeing not seeing it through as a minus... but here's a definite plus!!!! today I had my last of unit 2's labs and never ever ever have to see my lab partner again!!!!!!! today whenever he 'knocked' me by 'accident' he insisted on rubbing up and down my legs to consolidate?! me or something?? DON'T YOU TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS WITH ME, MISTER!! (ahh Glee <3) it was as though he'd never been in such close proximity to one of them 'females' before and he had to make the most of it... or something... IT WAS GROSSS. anyways, au revoir! oh wait, that reminds me, today my lab partner also started saying some 'french' words and so I say "as if you speak french" and he goes, "oh didn't I ever mention that to you. oh, ha, I thought you knew already" ugh. then I say, "did you learn at school" he answers negative and a little puzzled I ask how he learnt french and he says he taught himself... very suss.... then I state, "ah well cool, you know I learnt french up until year 12" (which, mes enfants, I actually did) to which he replies "oh that's weird, I can't for the life of me think of anything to say right now.. weird how things work... honestly I can't believe it, my french has just vanished"... yes, funny how things work.