The New Age Inventors

Ever been at a party, waiting for yo mama to pick you up with a still fairly full bottle of some alcohol in your hand. Ever been one not to want to waste money? Especially money which you illegally spent?

While small satchel bags are good for keeping the essentials: phone, keys, little bit of money, all safe they're not very good at housing a 700ml coolridge bottle.

You slink behind the side of the house and in the shadows, trying not to get caught in an unladylike manner, try hoist the bottle under your crotch and between either leg. You find it strangely peculiar how easy it is to walk with but can't help notice the sudden erection you've grown. Mama's not gonna like that.

You ask around for someone with a flask. A few people have one but being drunk, find it hard to realise that you don't mean to steal their remaining booze and don't bother hearing out your plan to exchange containers and subsequently their insides with them.

You can feel the pain right? you've been in that situation I'm sure. Which is why I feel no shame in unveiling for you my proposal for a product which as you can see, will provide much needed satisfaction to a high demand.

A PENIS SHAPED BOTTLE! or a dildo filled with vodka.
tagline: Get fucked in more way than one!

you see it's perfect cause it'll fit right up there

"and what shall you name such a divine product" enquire the many admirers

DoubleFuck!

So when the time comes that you've had a few too many and you're becoming somewhat the token drunk bitch and you hear some guy call out "Go fuck yourself" you might as well... well again. You should leave. You've clearly overstayed your welcome and everyone's going to get nasty soon. You're already fucked in one way so why not be in another. Get out your mobile, call up yo mama, ask her to pick you up, then satisfy the phallus within you.

P.s. did I want to write a more juvious post?