What's Love Got To Do With It?

Ok, so for those that don't know, I enjoy using MySpace for my pursuit of a soul mate.

The following is so you get a good idea as to where I'm coming from:

"I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite... "

"to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin." (The fatal attraction of a bus driver deserves its own post.)

Tonight I had a new man on my page. What people don't understand is I'm not just after meaningless animal sex (I have 39 years of expierience) I'm after everlasting love and this will only be found through MySpace. I often get friend requests from middle aged men telling me about their divorce and how they would love to embark on a "friendship". I want more than their "friendship".

I was going to chat him up until I was shown this 33 year old who photo commented on my chocolate friend:
"WOW that chocolate skin looks good enough to eat!!!! Can I be your chocolatier???"

I clicked onto this "steff" to scope out my competition. I knew I had stood no chance once I discovered she was bisexual, smoked weed everyday and had intimidating breasts. On a more important note he had listed Celine Dion in his favourite music; obviously untrustworthy.

Are you skeptical? See for yourself
Pimp: www.myspace.com/bboy4th
Homewrecker: www.myspace.com/123238593

Please be kind. I'm a lover not a fighter (L)(K)

P.S. I am dishonest and a compulsive liar.