Lemon-aid

I get it, life's been giving you a shit lot of lemons, maybe you've noticed, maybe you haven't, but hey, don't go ahead and you know, use AAAALLLL of them. You see you're starting to grow this face, this sour face, i saw it today, it looked painful, i wanted to reach out and hold your perfect little face with your perfect little nose in my hands but then again, i don't like to get my hands dirty. Hey, I was saving face on your part!
Here's a suggestion, if you're so hell bent on not wasting a single slice of lemon, seriously make some lemonade, it could be some cool lemon detox to help you wither away. Oh you could be so skinny! Promise me you'll give that a shot, I mean it's becoming difficult to watch you, you little puppy dog, trying so desperately but not actually succeeding despite your efforts being in vain. Watching as you build this image of yourself which you so desperately try to impress the world with, when you aren't really like that, so go ahead, use my advice, it's totally cool with me. I mean you're obviously a very intelligent young woman, in touch with all the latest trends and with a strong understanding of environmental issues, so I acknowledge that you're just trying not to be wasteful but come on, salvaging the left over juice to dip your hair in, really? You're a wonderful example of how good a dye job lemon juice can actually do since your hair changes from almost black to a nearly bleach blond in the most absurd way. It's lovely that you're trying so hard to juice these lemons for all they're worth but there's no need to put yourself through public humiliation, it's a good cause, however not that good.

Anyways, I just thought I'd lend a helping hand. You seem so pathetic and out of touch with reality, it's the least I could do.

This alarm went off in my head the second I saw that face of yours, so this is just a warning, faces like that often lead to them dreaded 'scary eyes' and you know how much people looooove them. So do yourself a favour, lose the 'look' it's totally not working in your favour.