My So Called Life

It's not fair that two of the best things in my life were ruined for me in good old two thousand and ten. You're so fucking dandy aren't you.

This should be a good year, things have been good you know. But you know what, good things aside, I happen to take it personally when my two favourite things are spoilt.

It's too unfair. Have you ever had something completely ruined for you? have you ever really? because it's the worst feeling in the world. It's actually the shittiest experience, you know, having something which you once loved so badly destroyed. It's so fucking unfair.

You know, shame on you people who do this bullshit. Shame on you. shame on you.

What's interesting is that I guess these things of mine which have been ruined are in essence my sanctuaries.
Have you got a sanctuary?
They're special places which obviously mean alot. By the way, that just then wasn't me trying to give a definition of what a sanctuary is, just me, you know, making sure that the importance of the word sanctuary is made clear... that and me just elaborating on a blog.

I guess I'll explain these sanctuaries of mine a little. One was a second life. Imagine that, a second life and legit, it was. This sanctuary was where we made time however now it's a waste of time. I can't even begin to explain it because there's no way anyone could understand if they weren't apart of it. And now it's been ruined. And that hurts so much. so so badly. to have something which you loved in incredible amounts change into something you hate, to have it deteriorate to that. AH GOD. It's the most painful thing.
The other sanctuary was no where near as fantastic as the other was but still meant a lot to me. I guess i can tell you about it but i just decided then that I'm not going to because i think the reception could be embarrassing on my behalf and i can't have this sanctuary ruined any further. Okay so imagine the perfect environment being polluted to the point where it just doesn't work anymore. The system in place just collapses. Now this effects everything originally apart of it, so that means the inhabitants. the populace can now no longer function at all because not only do they not have a home anymore but they're so accustomed to every minute detail of every condition of their original environment and reliant on them that they couldn't possibly adapt to a new one and they're left for dead.
sad isn't it?

God i just feel so fucking terrible. This weekend I've had the last straw with both these situations. I've really been pushed over the edge. I don't know what I'm going to do about it though... rage, i guess. I guess I could rage but I've already been doing that, so i guess rage further. It's really hard for me to fix these problems because they're being controlled by much higher powers. You know, it's just that it hurts so badly.