This one has been here since 11/11 in two thousand and the shining OoOoOOo. It was meant to be after this post: http://nictamere.blogspot.com/2009/11/sodomy-is-between-god-and-me.html that dirtbag posted. We have 70 drafts now... and 69 after I post this one ;) I was meaning to finish this... but that's what I say to just about everything I touch for the past seventeen years of my existence. So here's an unfinished post.
HOW DIRTBAG RUINS ALMOST IF NOT ALL 10 CUMANDMENTS WRITTEN BY BLOGBEAR
1) Thou shalt have no other Gods before me
Dirtbag has two different key chains on her keys, the first one is the World Trade Center key chain that someone left at her party, the second is a golden man wearing a cloak. At first I saw him from behind and figured it was a statue of Jesus and found it fucking weird considering she didn't believe in God and at her communion she only said every second word and also refused to confess any sins. Later I confronted her about this in which she answered, "It's Obi-Wan Kenobi". This shit is blasphemy, it looks exactly like a statue of a God except it's a ficitional character, only a figment of George Lucas' imagination.
3) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
Yeah as she's trolling down the corridor do you hear that? Yeah that's Dirtbag calling for God.
4) Keep the Sabbath day holy.
Sunday is not for holiness. Sunday in Dirtbag's books can be for rowing, suffering a hangover, suffering stomach aches but it is not a day for prayer.
5) Honour thy father and thy mother.
If you knew Dirtbag, you'd snigger right now. You know how people say, "I was abused as a child?". Yeah well, Dirtbag's mum could say, "I was abused as an adult."
6) Thou shalt not kill.
Blogbear, "But at three months a baby has a heart beat!"
Dirtbag, "Yeah so what? You'd kill a person. Why can't you have an abortion?"
Blogbear, "I wouldn't kill a person..."
Dirtbag, "What?! Since when?"
7) Thou shalt not steal.
There might be more than one example I can use here but simply: She has more than one copy of every lit book. May I ask how you got these, Dirtbag?
8) Do not lie
9) Thou shalt not commit adultery
10) Fuck... looks like I didn't even find the 10th cummandment, but I have a bigger worry in my mind which is: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SAN DIEGO?
Yeah Dirtbag you are disgusting, you're bound to "GOOOES TO HADES" and you know what? I've loved you so long.
''I was abused as an adult."
ReplyDeleteThese od posts are soo good! and what a relief, i was nearly actually about to start maths study! and heaven forbid i ever prepare for a maths exams. thanks for the distraction xx
our pleasure!
ReplyDeletethere's something called battered parent syndrome, i read about it in a magazine today. dirtbags mum should investigate, there are support groups and everything
ReplyDelete