Originally written on 17/2/10.
I lost the girl I'm fucking on the weekend.
I didn't emotionally lose her, I physically lost her.
You may see her in the gutter, and if found please return her to me.
She has the following:
- blonde hair
- a skinny body (but the kind of skinny fat that shakes when I slap her on the ass)
- a wardrobe that consists of non-generically skanky clothes (but must still be appealing enough for my friends to also find her attractive)
- a love for animal print
- a lack of spelling or grammar in her writing
- the right amount of cellulite on her knees
- lots of photography of herself
- long blonde hair (wait, shit, did I already say that?)
- a face that only looks good from one angle
- that angle must be birds eye view (cos i'm tall too)
- a deceiving personality
- a strong taste for tackiness
- previous experiences in parks
- a knack for photoshopping facebook photos
- a good lip pout or purse in photos
- a liking for excessive smiley faces and exclamation marks on the wide webular networkia
- nothing else
Actually, this is quite important as I was at a music festival on the weekend
and well I lost her amongst all the other girls that fill the descriptions above.
It's been two days and I'm quite horny by now, I mean I'm quite worried by now.
Be a lad and send her right back at me, or on me.
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