Phoscine

Have you ever been to a party which changed your world? sadly I don't mean in a good way.
ever stood still and watched a party move about you and observe how much it sucks, well for you? I have.

It's like watching a massacre, a war, an atomic bomb go off. And you've got the best seat in the house, which isn't really the best because you're right in the middle watching with a 360degrees view of it all. You're detached yet within the chaos.

I watched Avatar in 3D at an IMAX cinema, best thing in the entire world. Well this party situation is kinda like when Neytiri's bird creature dies and she's suddenly withdrawn from the moment and is able to see everything going on around her. She sees all the destruction. It's like everyone included in the fighting is so caught up in it but with the loss of her creature she has a moment, like a jolt, and suddenly it's all real.
There's minmal sound and the scene is horrific. Similar to the scene in Atonement with the long shot of the beach.

And you're the bastard. If this unfortunate but true thing ever happens to you don't take it out on the abusers. Hey, they're just going at the norm. You're the unusual one. You're the one not enjoying yourself, bottle it up. You're the one left feeling sick, repulsed; they're they ones being disgusting. Deal with it.

I'm not sure if it's triggered by sobriety. However, I think maybe yes.

Because I had been drunk prior to seeing all the revolting-ness and I guess I'd become more sober by then. It's weird, it's the reality which drunkenness takes from you.

I guess the reality's good. Why wouldn't it be. I'm all for being drunk (clearly) and I definitely did not enjoy the party from hell but I guess there's another side to reality/drinking which gets lost in the binge.

I was at a different party not too long ago where I seriously felt high when all I'd had were some sippy sip sips of my vodka and redbull. It's started in my body, like my body felt high. that lasted for a while. Then, there went my head. It was soooo weird. I'd only been sipping at my drink and hadn't drunk a lot.

A few times in Thailand I experienced the same thing, I felt high in my body. Now I never had enough drinks to get drunk so was this what alcohol is? Had all the sculling and NEED to be drunk made me miss out on the best feeling stage? Just like skipping over the reality and rankness, did intoxication jip you of all alcohol has to offer?

Like smoking a cigarette? Well for me.
I don't smoke
but when I do I feel it in my head and it's the NICEST feeling. Makes me feel sweet and happy. Truly pleasuring.

Should everything be drawn out like the months between my smokes or the mingling between drinks to be experienced in the ideal way?

Do you notice all my questions? I guess I'm just a sweetheart for drunkenness and I can't commit to statements right now. But hey, heard of compromise without loss? I guess I can get drunk and still feel 'high'. It's called steady drinking. And then drinking more.. but steadilly of course, then some more! This way you avoid any chilling reality checks and ensure you get all the goody parts. Steady drinking is actually something which BlogBear and I had a go at this time last year. I'm gonna spend the next month getting used to it. Then I'll be at my birthday and truly over the teenage binge drinking scene. I'll be making my way to adulthood one drink and a pause at a time.

I pre-empt that I fail. But at least I'll give it a shot.