Winning on All Fronts, Dirtbag and BlogBear

1. Some chick was in line at a petrol station. There was a man in front of her who was being served and the guy behind the counter was clearly having some trouble, he was all like "ahh shit, ahh, maaaan, I'm so sorry aye, ah shit" and then the guy in line goes "nah you're alright... for a FUCKHEAD"


2. Chemistry today-

Dirtbag: ...probs for $500

Person X: You could die!!!

Dirtbag: Teacher X, what would happen if I drank this solution of calcium carbonate, fertilizer, magnesium nitrate and sulphuric acid?

Teacher X: You'd die a slow and painful death

Dirtbag: Yeh $500


3. There are a good 7 or so girls in my year who find another girl really hot for her resemblance to a guy. What the fuck. I died with laughter. Apparently I need to get over the fact that she's a girl and succumb to her true attractiveness?! These girls couldn't stop staring at her, claiming "oh my god, her facial bone structure is perfect" and "her arms are so nice and muscly"


4. The test-tube story.
A girl in year nine a few years ago at a different school was in science and saw a test-tube for all its falic-goodness and smuggled it home for some pleasure time later. Already, what the fuck. In her bedroom masturbating with a test-tube inside of her, the chick's mom came in and so she quickly closed her legs and the test-tube shattered inside of her. She had to go to hospital.


5. I tried to explain the test-tube story to two french exchange students today because i was really sick of them just being annoying at school and seeming unimpressed with everything.

Dirtbag: La Fille [put] un [test-tube] dans elle Chat!!! Et elle mere ahhhhhh alors est [broke] dans elle. Elle aller au l'hosptal. Elle etait [masturbating]!!!

French girls were unimpressed

Dirtbag: Yeh well, va te faire foutre


6. Lit teacher laughing at his computer screen while he no doubt wrote super hilarious emails.
Please note: I received two emails from him in response to the same email, as in i sent him my essay and he replied my email twice, ten minutes apart, because you know what, he'd thought of a way funnier thing to say than what he wrote first. Ohh he thinks he's being so fucking sneaky and really hilarious too. Yeh, he's a joke. Also he just HAD to reply to BlogBear's email of "Here you go, at 5.03am" with "actaully at 5.04". and so in the true nature of petty, BlogBear, having been provoked, replied with a screan shot of her sent items clearly stating that it was sent at 5.03. Grow up ManChild!!


Life has been funny lately. I mean rolling on the ground, unable to breath funny.
Let's further spread the laughter with...

Simile of the post: She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs

P.S. I should probably just stick to French insults (cause that'll be hell good in my examsss).
P.P.S. We can even dye your eyes to match your gown. Uh-huh