Buisness of Stangers

While walking dogs we meet people, talk and shit. well no, actually. Women talk to your dogs and you're meant to smile politely. This must be the reason why i am not a hit with the strangers. I'm either too forward or, as I've been told, appear bored.

SITUATION 1

Woman X: (talking to the dogs) what are you guys doing?
Dirtbag: sitting (bluntly)
Woman X: ohh, ha you can hardly see your pretty eyes
Dirtbag: Yeh you can't, too much fur. But look, same colour as mine
(Woman X backs away)


Also today i went into Fresh Provisions and thought i saw a friend of mine (who was i kidding) so i ran directly towards him with the intention of jumping on him from behind. Luckily in that moment as i hovered above them but my feet still on the ground, although my breath could be clearly felt on their neck, i realised that i did not know this person and so swiftly ran away. Ha, luck was a lady tonight, or I'd have had another stranger's judging eyes pierced on me.



Beating around the bush can be really annoying but when it comes to old women's crotches I'd prefer if they weren't so open. Avoidance is another thing to learn, like when your dog's got his nose up some other dog's arse, just pull them away, don't exclaim that he's gonna get pink eye, just don't do it, walk away.

SITUATION 2

(dog sniffs woman's crotch)
Woman X (same woman as before): Well you can tell it's a boy dog

SITUATION 3

(dog sniffs woman's crotch)
Woman Y: Hey, don't sniff my crotch. oooh you're a wicked dog!


You used to get it in your fishnets, now you only get it in your night dress?
is that how it is?
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness and landed in a very common crisis?
Can you remember when you used to be a rascal? yeh well the best you ever had is just a memory now.

well sorry ladies but even though you've already became, it's not very becoming of you to pine over this, they're dogs remember.