Let's dance for fear

Jumping Parklife was the riiiight decision, I had the best day.

The afternoon started by circling aimlessly around the venue watching many people failing to get in. A group of guys pulled down a fence and there is always that moment when everyone's hesitant on whether to commit or not, but if you do it is oh so very worth it. We managed to jump the second fence and get in with no fuss. It was the BEST feeling in the whole world, I could have cried from the adrenaline.

Crystal Castles, as good as they were, was not enjoyable for me at all. I could hardly breathe in between fat, sweat-drenched men. I was so thirsty that I would have considered licking the beads of sweat falling off of an acne ridden boy. Someone fell on my head at one point. I was on the ground three times with one too many people on top of me. I had my hair stuck in someone's arm pit at various points. I had one weird Black Shirted guy who had his arm around me and wouldn't let me move whilst violating me with his grinding movements. I also had a guy with his hand on my boob and when I said "What the fuck?!" he had the audacity to say, "What's wrong babe?" "YOUR FIST IS IN MY CHEST". 

What do festivals have an abundance of? Skanky women and seedy men.

Skanky women can be identified by:

Looking black- they have streaky legs and are walking advertisements for skin cancer.

Wearing bikinis- because they are hot.

Wearing that multi-coloured pattern- boob tube, skirt, shirt, dress, why does everybody have the same one?

Having their tits out- because that is the right and only way to attract others. 

Blogbear standing with her sister:

Seedy man, "Are you from Japan?"

Us, "No."

"Where are you from?"

Sister, "We're from here, Australia."

Seedy man, "I love your looks. Very sexy."

Seedy man thinks we are laughing with him but we are laughing at him.

"Yeah I can tell you're sisters, so sexy."

Turn away, "Ok thanks... fuck off." 

You know what makes that okay though? The kindness of strangers, like when everybody helps each other jump a fence, or when a random man holds my hand so I don't fall off of Alex's shoulders, or when I'm underneath a fat man and everyone helps each other up. 

Dancing the night away with our badass moves. Scabbing enough money at the end of the night to buy a can of delicious coke. Practicing cartwheels and spy rolls. Coming out of Parklife as the winners. Sitting outside the hospital at the emergency entrance pretending that I was a tight arse, bitch wife whilst Alex was my homosexual husband. Also checking out the docs. Eyeing the vending machines. Decided that God was in the waiting room and betting on which one he was. We came to the decision that he was either the fat woman at the back or the disabled man.

Spectacular, Spectacular

No words in the vernacular

Can't describe this great event

You'll be dumb with wonderment