101 Things

Dirtbag and Blogbear love:

1. Big, fat, glorious magazines with seeminly more adverts than content.



2. Constantly talking shit with friends.



3. Accents. Hearing them, guessing them, imitating them. South African to American. All good.



4. The fact that Sexy Music Man is back. The man of my 14 year old's dream. The man who literally made girls "head over heels". Correction: he is no longer Sexy Music Man, it's more like Sexless Music Man. Oh how age shows naivety.



5. Dumb bitches.



6. Nudity. "Here, we’ve only got a few options in how to react to the naked body: be aroused, be amused, or be repulsed. Boo to that." Hey Nuuuuude, don't make it bare take a short skirt and make it shorterer...



7. The idea of having a gun pointed to our faces and asked for our last words and offering a nonchalant shrug "dun matta".



8. People who can multiply decimals in their head because it's suprisingly sexy.



9. Knowing that Bindi Irwin is subject to a ventriloquist up her bot bot.



10. Taking the blows in my face and my body.



11. The Assassination of Our Futures by the Coward Procrastination.



12. Sarcastic jokes about and during inappropiate situations.



13. When people don't acknowledge us and avoid eye contact.



14. Filling our sorrows with the words we borrowed.



15. Morgan Freeman narrating my life in one ear whilst Adrien Brody whispers sweet nothings in another.



16. Kisses on the nose and ear.



17. Quotes said at the correct moment which allow you to win life with one smart arse comment at a time.



18. Public displays of affection.



19. Calling for whores to fill our empty, empty.. cavaties. Slut! I need somebody. Slut! Not just anybody.



20. When fat people kiss with their eyes open on rides at the royal show.



21. "Never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously, you never get hurt, you never get hurt, you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."



22. Public displays of affection in public toilets



23. World of Warcraft. We don't play but we love its following and the followers' obsession with it and loyalty for it and dependency on it.



24. When people stare at you and then you stare back until they break eye contact. You win.



25. Taking stalker photos. Example: walking down Beaufort St and seeing someone that Dirtbag is obsessed with, then pretending you are on your phone outside IGA to get a photo of him.



26. Alexander Wang, Alexander Wang's clothes, the Alexander Wang Girl.



27. People who shit in pools.



28. Listening to mulitple songs at a time and them clashing.



29. Only being able to establish things by their relevance to things off of Sims. such as dogs which look like sims dogs, hairstyles which look like sims hairstyles, houses like sims houses, babies like sims babies...



30. Not being able to identify a baby's age and simply refering to them as their size. "umm i dunno, it was like arm length kinda of baby"
    
    
31. Big dreams which end up panning out the same as The Great Gatsby, being unphased by "definatley being suspended at the least" and no one antending the only bothered person's funeral



32. Mice pooing on your hand then just flicking it off
    
    
33. Noticing more quirky outfits than normal the weekend Facehunter happens to be in Perth
    
    
34. Being praised by your teacher for getting 38%
    
    
35. Only getting 5 views a day now that we're an invite only blog



36. Cell Block Tango from Chicago. I'd easily kill a man to be in that song. "He ran into my knife, he ran into my knife ten times"



37. Spending the end of english lit. watching a man cut open a camel, cut off a bit to eat then spitting it out with repulsiveness, then dragging it's innards across the desert, then cutting the fur off as a "blanket", then watching him lie inside the camel.
    
    


38. "When a guy cums on your face"



39. The fact that my mum thought we'd brought the wrong dog home proceeded to call out "Dog X! Dog X!" Dog X looks at my weirdo mum, my mum says, "Ah yes, it is Dog X, he looked at me."
    
    
40. Deceided to commit to moving far, far away from perth to a place where we share the same bed, work three jobs, forgot about our morals and own a moldy bath. All whilst having the time of our life.