Thankgod for Halloween to mark the peak of the hunting season. God presents you a platter of the finest pre-pubescent bodies scantily clad in their illegally sexy outfits. They're literally (litter alley) knocking on your door asking for your treats... and we know the kind of tricks they turn ;)
it's a shame that not everyone chooses to dress up and being a 'Party Pooper' doesn't count.
As much as i love to see the little embryos neglected in the true fashion of abortion, when you've got them all on their Pro-Life campaigns just begging for a titty fuck when the footy's the only thing on TV and they're too tight to fuck why not take advantage.
In the wise words of Joey 'Eat Me' Donner, "If you don’t get any, I don’t get any. Let’s go get some."
SO i urge you to consider that local bundle of joy who's at your beck and call. Think of yourself as the you in that quote and the I as the juvies, and say to yourself every morning when you wake up, so you can take full advantage of the new day (and the naturally bare pussy), "If i don't get any, they don't get any. Let's go get some"
YOU ARE THEIR UMBILICAL CHORD. YOU'RE THEIR ONLY SOURCE OF LIFE. IF YOU CUT THE CHORD THEY'LL HAVE NOTHING TO THRIVE ON.
they'd have made the transition from juvie to woman and all you'll have left is the placenta.
Oh placenta, so nutritious. you hold the secrets of life. you're matured and wise however what could you really want from that. i mean if you dared eat it you would benefit greatly but who really wants to put themselves alongside Tom Cruise? Therefore you must continue the kiddy crusade.
Vs.
i know which one i'd prefer to eat ;)
Anyways, back to the misfortune of some people not dressing up.
I know one person in particular who threw in the white bib in his hunt for juvies. Well, maybe he didn't, but that's the impression i got. like i said, his white bib, and whilst this boy does claim to be THE juvie hunter and he has had his fair share of indecent affection and easy advantage, i stress that his bib has not properly been soiled. A clean bib, what the fuck. we need some apple puree on there! and quick smart!
and so i present to you the wasted opportunity which was Halloween.
i have long suspected that this Sims boy had an idol, someone who he looks up to; models himself on. I thought that the person who i dare thought Sims may look up to was a very very very high goal, some might say reaching his status would be unattainable for a well-educated yet misdirected teenager living a cliched life in a close-minded city. so i decided to follow a new lead (all the while cherishing my true thoughts).
i asked Sims, "would you let *** ****** fuck you up the arse" and the answer was no :( which marked the end of that contestants run and i moved back to trailing the true winner.
I present to you, the ultimate Halloween costume for our dear friend Sims of 93'perfuck (although lately you may know it as 93'perSUCK). If he had only realised the true genius behind this he could have pulled an epic amount of tang and rather than given in on the Fanny Quest, as opposed to NicTaMere's Vaginal Quest (fanny's the term little girls use for those of you who weren't ever one yourself), he could have proved himself THE MOTHER FUCKING JUVIE HUNTER!!!!!!!
without further a due i present to you, Wooderson!
now, it;s a shame that Halloween has passed and the morning after all we're left with is All Saints Day? piss offff. i had a fun Halloween and it's all your own fault if you yourself didn't. This post has been about seizing opportunities and with Halloween so arise many opportunities, such as sick arse costumes of evil mermaid and self harming mental patient (it's not called over the top it's called fucking best dressed)! Two -thousand and shine offered us soo much more though.
number one it's a Saturday night
and number two we have a stellar cast of juvies this year in terms of getting down and dirty. Although there seems to be a common denominator of all being too tight, a burden which calls bullshit to one of the fine womanizers of '93's infamous claim that "all vagina's are the same" well unfortunately these pint size girl' vagina's share the same fate of pint-sizeness and therefore they don't even meet the standards of such a degrading claim- how embarasing. nonetheless the juvies ran plentiful and to ensure they were all open to a little openness douth i did spot some street drinking going on. THANK GOD FOR TEETHING!
I'd like to end with two of my favourite parts of my night.
1) Ruby the boy dog caught in a girl dog's body.
2) BlogBear: so are you a normal cop or a skanky cop?
Person X: "a skanky cop!!!!
By the way, as well as running a backyard dental clinic i now am running a business; i serve as the ultimate wing man to all who claim to be a juvie hunter. I promise you my services are first class and i offer text message spottings of any juvie you sign up for or you can request the deluxe package in which any juvie to ever crawl the planet is caught by my radar.
xox. Dirtbag aka your favourite placenta ;)
we both know we can become the best
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