Sodomy is Between God and Me

In Chapel today at school i read Battle as Bottle. For a brief moment i was in heaven as i praised God's wise words, "Do not fear the bottle". Needless to say we laughed through the rest of the hymn.

My next class was French and we managed to persuade our teacher to put on a movie rather than revise in our last lesson before exams. We watched The Count of Monte Cristo. At one point i read the subtitles of "he's just a poor count" and "he's just a poor cunt".
Last time we watched a film in french, Hunting and Gathering, we were jipped a sex scene. Not because we weren't aloud to watch it but because the fucking director thought it a better effect to cut to the next scene. Well his intentions can go fuck themselves because we made sure nothing was left to the imagination. Occupying the front two desk, my friend Voldermort and I sat rocking back on our chairs with our legs spread out on the desks, failing at our attempts to be the teacher's pets because our indisputable rebel roots. As the scene changed, the two of us looked at oneanother with that vile look of mischief present on our faces and a childish grin. Voldermort slapped her under her thighs while i loosened my mouth, grabbed on the my cheeks and began flapping them. I wish you'd all been there, such a beautiful moment.