"...That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard"
and the stupidest thing I ever heard is this story:
There's this girl fooling around with this guy and he tries to get a little creative in the same way a pornstar's idea of creative input is licking a toilet seat (no Sasha Grey, you got gonorrhea from that, dumb bitch); not all out enough to be kinky and just a little rank. So this guy decided to put 6 Mentos Mints up the chick's vagina. god knows why. He does this then continues to pleasure the lady. When he later applies maximum suction, I assume, oh actually maybe he used his fingers/hands/fist/both fistsss!!!! he pulled out... 1 Mentos... 2 Mentos... 3 Mentos... 4 Mentos... 5 Mentos... 6 Mentos...
AND A SEVENTH MENTOSSS!?!?!?!!?!?!
and with that conclusion to the story the narrator stared with gigantic eyes at me, pissing herself laughing. I didn't know how to react, I mean I was confused. I asked her what the point was, she didn't comprehend what I was saying, so I asked again. Still she didn't get me. "I don't get it? he'd counted wrong? what's so funny about that?"
I mean a woman's vagina can have all kinds of crazy effects on men, one being lack in numeracy skills. Some kid I knew once had killer skills in maths when he was younger but the day he learnt to divide he used his knowledge for the worst, or best(either/or). He'd rearranged the division symbol from being two dots on either side of a line to two testicles and a shaft. He learnt to divide legs and said goodbye to an education.
But nonetheless the chick kinda kept looking at me weird. I responded, "soooo that was the story. he'd lost count or something?" to which she replied "OMG!!!!!! NOOOOO IT WAS A BALLLLLL OF CUMMMMMM!!!!"
"what? a ball of cum?"
"YEAAAAAAHHHH"
"no, I don't understand. What? so you're saying she had inside her vagina a hard ball of dried cum which resembled a Mentos?"
"YEAHH"
"no. no way. that's bullshit. he obviously lost count"
but apparently not cause this narrator kept insisting it was 'a ball of cum'. what? did it taste minty too? That's the shit a nymphomaniac comes up with when their not busy fucking and they're having a little nap and a wet dream on the side. Breath mint made of cum? Fuck off.
and yeh. that was the stupidest story i've ever been told
Physics class at a co-ed school circa anytime after Einstein's rise to popularity
Hunk X watches as his girlfriend, Slut X, rubs her legs together during class igniting fire in her groin by stimulating her clit piecing. Hunk X, wishes he was in the toilets with her fucking her senseless. Hunk X knows that his penis has gone up and it ain't cumming down so he says fuck Newton and opts for some temporal satisfaction in the fine Tang of Mentos Mints. Lucky for him, as he delves into his pocket he finds Mentos Blast Gum; Slut X you little squirter, you.
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